See, I have high blood pressure. I've had it for ten years, actually, but only recently did I do something about it. My meal plan in college was couch change and 49-cent tacos. I don't get much exercise, either. Although the other day I did play a very strenuous game of street hockey against some neighborhood 10 year-olds who appeared to be in excellent cardiovascular health. The worst part is my wife; she's so overly concerned about my condition: "You're going to die," "Don't forget your Accupril," and, "Here, eat this celery and rice cake casserole I made for you," have all been in heavy rotation around my place. I don't care what fucking Martha Stewart says, you cannot bake celery.

So I'm getting real tired of what's good for me. Eating right, driving safe. Even listening to gourmet music. It's all starting to blur: is it the genius of tofu and the healthiness of Sonic Youth or the other way around?

There's quite a bit that Alkaline Trio's music is not. It's not challenging, ambitious, or visionary. It's not clever or self-aware. It's not even terribly skillful. But what it is, is tasty. Pure musical junk food: fast, greasy, and crafted for a general palate. Some people can't bring themselves to ever go to a fast food joint once they've tasted better. Others, like me, well... we shouldn't, but we do, anyway.

Already known for playing paradoxically dour but upbeat pop/punk, the Trio, dive a little deeper and darker on From Here to Infirmary than on previous efforts. But even with an obsidian sheen, they still play catchy, riff-saturated edgy pop. A dozen tracks of it, if that's what you're craving. Admittedly, some of the music is a tad too derivative for your average rock snob. The riffs on "You're Dead" are pretty suggestive of the mid-90's Everclear hit "Fire Maple Song." And "Private Eye" opens with tonal qualities borrowed from the Bossanova sessions.

The band often hits the mark in their lyrical imagery, though. Not necessarily whole lines of brilliance, but just the smallest turn of phrase. Snippets like, "Sense DNA on barbed wire fences," and, "Drank my insides raisin dry" demonstrate that they can write with restraint rather than aiming to shoot their lyrical wad all at once on a grand, poetic angst manifesto (and failing, no doubt).

Occasionally, however, the Trio jar you back to reality with bonehead moves like spelling out the very, very thinly-disguised metaphor in one song for the listener. Not only was it obvious to the most casual ear, but the repeated outro, "In case you're wondering/ I'm singing about growing up," in "Mr. Chainsaw" only serves to draw attention to itself and the fact that we weren't wondering... at all. Another comical moment is the bits of Colin Hay vocals that slip into Matt Skiba's singing on "I'm Dying Tomorrow."

But for all its flaws, From Here to Infirmary remains nothing more than simply what it is: tuneful, consumable, and guiltily satisfying. Sometimes you just have to put regard for your own well-being aside and consume what you want, even if you know it's bad. Even if you just read Fast Food Nation. Go on, have that triple whopper. After all, it's only here for a limited time.

-John Dark