Throughout this review, please keep in mind that the man who is writing this strongly feels that Queen's finest album was the soundtrack to "Flash Gordon." Tangerine Dream's pre-Risky Business oevure has moments that supercede Mercury & Co's space/homo noodlings. A perfect example of this drama can be drawn from the track "Atem," which I think is about the first cash machine in space. For it is in space where we hear the burbling lasers, the jello-shaky orchestral cirus, the lion-sized buzz of a big, black monolith, and the birth of prog-rock.

When the ape reaches out and touches this particular peppersteak-- excuse me, two-disc anthology-- the hockey hair will blossom and we'll be seeing you front row and center for King Crimson. Really? No, but even if you couldn't draw a straight line from the Godfathers of Kraut to the Forefathers of Guitar Player Magazine, you could certainly bridge it with resonance.

There's atmosphere here-- it's not always pretty, but it's certainly more interesting than the hole of pie that works and dwells on the face of Alanis Morissette. This atmosphere is more like that of Pink Floyd's A Saucerful of Secrets and Atom Heart Mother. Atmosphere like the Orb: you're not here to dance; you're here to listen to creepy if not interesting music by people who (and I'm just guessing here) smell like a lazy librarian's chair.

It's never been about the look, but rather, the look inside. The people who make and listen to this music are ugly. (Yeah, me too.) Appearances don't matter in prog-rock. Unless you're getting your picture taken and you need just the right angle on you, your synth, and the red spotlight behind you and your flowing mane of hair as the music reaches its peak, in which case, you'll thrust a triumphant hand into the air as your other hand launches into a dizzying display of 32nd notes and... well, if you've ever seen the back cover of Jason: A Night at the Acropolis, you know what I'm talking about.

These guys love using the cymbals. One song, "Green Desert," sort of sounds like a way, way, way extended version of Van Halen's "1984" had Alex had been allowed to join in and take it in a more Mike and the Mechanics direction. Oh, that's right. This music also inspired Genesis. I guess it's not the information but the hands it falls into.

Like this review, the album is long. How long? The sticker on the label says "Over 2 hours." Holy shit! That's pretty fucking long! Many of these songs clock in at 15+ minutes, but be forewarned that years of Guided By Voices and hardcore may sap you of tolerance for analog synth epics. Keep it in mind if you decide to press your nose into the wookie bush and take a taste of ol' lady Tangerine Dream. (Come on, admit it. The name sounds like either a cheap hooker or an even cheaper wine cooler.)

-Jason Josephes