[taken from the flight logs of Space Station Mir]

"Colai, pass me the duct tape. I need to seal this hole in the side panels."

"I used it already to hold the instrument panel down. Here, Andrei, use my snot."

[sounds of scratching]
"Hey, do we have any music on this ship? I want to listen to crazy western rock and roll."

[sounds of rummaging through a duffle bag]
"We have this. What is this? The Pixies."

"Very good, which one? Surfer Rosa?"

"No."

"Come on Pilgrim?"

"No."

"Doolittle? Trompe Le Monde?"

"No."

"What about that greatest hits record? Or is it that other record of theirs?"

"No. It says At The BBC."

"What? What songs are on it?"

"Let me see. 'Wild Honey Pie,' 'Subbacultcha,' 'Is She Weird...' There are lots of songs on here, Andrei. I never heard ot this crazy American rock and roll band. Who are they?"

"You've never heard of Pixies, Colai? How long have you been up here?"

"Don't test me or I'll stick vodka bottle in your ear."

"Pixies were great American rock and roll band. They wrote crazy songs, crazy punk rock songs, but very different. The guitars buzzed and bleeped and twanged, and the singer was big fat man who wrote strange, oddly compelling lyrics. At first glimpse, they sound all silly, but after that they have this strange way of sticking in your head. They were at once pop, and rock and noise. Rock and roll equivalent of surrealists, Colai."

"Why I never hear of these Pixies?"

"They were around late 1980s and were ahead of their time. A few crazy Americans were into them, but crazy stupid America couldn't handle Pixies unique butchery of pop music. You hear that Nirvana band? They ripped off Pixies and said so all the time."

"I like to listen to Pixies live. Let me tape together this stereo."

[sounds of clunking, music begins]
"Hey Andrei, you are right, this is good. This is crazy American fucking rock! What... you no like?"

"I like fine, Colai... but this sounds kind of like the records... Except some little time changes and guitar bits are missing."

"Ha ha, listen to fat man sing! He screams like butcher but then he sings like little girl! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

"I don't know, Andrei... you should really hear Pixies records. They are what crazy Amercians call 'The Shit.' I don't know what the point of this record was."

"Maybe so people who don't know what record to buy have something to guide them."

"Da. But I don't think they'll get all they can out of this mish-mash, Colai. People need to hear real thing."

"Record companies... they are scum. This sounds like plot just to make more money."

"That reminds me, Colai."

"We have no money, Andrei."

"I know. But we have scum. We can eat that for dinner tonight."

"Da."

-Samir Khan