Well, shut my mouth and call me corn pone, but didn't this groovy Austin Powers- type continental stuff reach it's apex a couple of years ago? If so, there's nowhere for it to go but down. You know what I'm talking about: music with the decidedly European feel of Aquarius Paris, a sixties lounge and exotica base blended with bits of techno and Kurt Weill cabaret, swirled with the propulsive linear rhythms of Can. The finest example, of course, is Stereolab. What they do works because they're a band with a fully integrated vision of where pop music has been and where it's going. And they're master thieves, truly making the pillaged goods their own. Germany's Stereo Total, on the other hand, seem utterly fabricated.

Based in Berlin, Stereo Total draw from Bohemia, Italy, and France to fill their ranks. They use some surf guitar and European folk songs as accents, while primarily coasting on the organ- based lounge/ pop thing. Sure, their sound is cute and clever, but it's certainly not smart, and that's the reason it wears thin so damn fast.

"Moviestar," one of the few songs Stereo Total sings in English, is a good example. Upon first listen, the nicely textured production, along with an evocative slide guitar and some oddball drum programming, actually sounds quaint and appealing, like the ancient pop it patterns itself after. But once you've been through it a couple of times, there's nothing to cling to, and their obvious chord progressions become trite and irritating.

When not being obvious, Stereo Total are inconsistent. "Get Down Tonight," one of K.C. and the Sunshine Band's many disco classics, is updated here as a new-wave caricature wrapped in a thick "luftballon" accent. The hypnotic guitar line is pretty amazing, but the groove is comically clunky and the entertainment aspect is ultimately short- lived.

And so it is throughout Stereo Total's debut. The songs are either uneven or downright banal. Here and there are some original ideas, such as using a manual typewriter for percussion on "Dactylo Rock," with the "ding" of the carriage return hitting on the beat. But when the same song is resurrected in a house mix for the obligatory "hidden track," the joke is already getting old. So, no martini for me, thanks. A Budweiser will be just fine.

-Mark Richard-San

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