Southern Culture on the Skids is one of those bands that always perplexed me from afar. My curiosity began with their name, of course, so over the years I skimmed articles about them and glanced their odd album covers in record stores. But I was never intrigued enough to actually listen to their music. I'd ask myself, "Who the fuck are these guys?" And then I'd move on.

I wish I could say that something finally happened to convince me to buy an album of theirs, but I can't. It just wouldn't be true, and as you may know by now, I never lie. My reason for owning Liquored Up and Lacquered Down is nothing short of boring, so I won't even bother going into it. After all, what's exciting about getting this album is that I could finally sate my curiosity about Southern Culture on the Skids (or, SCOTS-- a pretty cool, if misleading acronym).

If there's one thing that my casual research over the years had taught me about SCOTS, it's that they're proudly eclectic. Fortunately, their music lives up to their image. The opening title track, for instance, pairs Spanish horn interjections a la Calexico with jumpy, Island ska guitar chords and vocals that, in delivery and theme, most resemble Jimmy Buffett. On paper, this may sound like an odd mix, but the delivery is natural and smooth. It makes you want to get drunk on the beach.

Now, I've already warned you, but with an album like this, I can't be too careful: the album is all over the place. The next song, "Hittin' on Nothing," opens with a rockin' rhythm guitar and a lead guitar that achieves the same dislocated sound Dylan favored in the '80s, if perhaps less aggressively. Oh, and then there's the straight-up country female vocals that come off like Reba McEntire on a bad hair day.

The (non) trend continues. "Pass the Hatchet" is a surf-inflected, rhythm-n-blues instrumental that harkens back to the days of Archie Bell's "Tighten Up." The opening guitar riff of "Corn Liquor" has backbeat-era Beatles written all over it. "Drunk and Lonesome (Again)" is a country-western ballad. If Travis Tritt were funny, he would have written "Cheap Motels," which chronicles rural seediness with pride. "I Learned to Dance in Mississippi" and "The Corn Rocket" are kick-ass bluesy rock songs seemingly stolen from George Thorogood's lost tracks. One also finds a straightforward blues number in "Damaged Goods." And that's not even all of it.

I could quote lyrics from Liquored Up and Lacquered Down, but I think the album and song titles say it all. Think of any country album you know, then imagine the lyrics being written when the artist was filthy drunk (no, I mean really drunk). This music is likewise intoxicated, stumbling from one genre to the next, yet somehow maintaining consistency. Their name finally makes sense, for Southern Culture on the Skids take mainly Southern music and do with it what they please. Yes, I'd say they wear their countless influences on their sleeves, but those sleeves are dirty-ass torn denim which they use to wipe moonshine from the sides of their mouths.

-Ryan Kearney