Sonique is so fine. I look at the cover of her disc often. In fact, I keep it by my bed for whenever the mood strikes me. Lying askew on a furry couch, her bedroom eyes beckon me... aah. Last night, I dressed up in a shiny shirt and my tight-so-tight spandex pants and put Hear My Cry on the stereo. I could see my erect nipples poking through the shimmer as I let her music coarse through my throbbing, erect muscles. I danced that night, over and over again, stopping only to towel off my back and light fresh mountainberry scented candles.

I thought it was over when Cher died. I spent many months in my darkened room, shooting up heroin and listening to "Believe" on repeat. Cher was dead and she would never know that I believed, I really believed. I believed that her use of synthesizers was nothing short of genius, and that she changed the face of pop music with that album. As if she hadn't done enough, she showed those "electronica" artists how it was really done. Just try and argue. I can prove you wrong.

I thought my life would never get back on track. There's not much of a market out there for Cher aficionados, and what once looked like blue skies had turned themselves blacker than Her skillfully died mane. Then, Rico at Chez Rendezvous turned me onto Sonique, and now things are looking up. Her opening track, "It Feels So Good," made me feel like She was in the room, and my heart buzzed in anticipation. Could this newcomer fill the void left by Her Highness? I shuddered with fear, but Sonique caressed me-- she wrapped her dance beats around me, her sugary-sweet voice licked the insides of my thighs. Ooh!!

It wasn't long before Sonique had licked me into utter submission. In fact, it was all over when I heard her killer remix of Screamin' Jay Hawkins' "I Put a Spell On You." The cascading violins that open up the track gave me the shivers, but only for a moment before the beats and Sonique begin. And wow! She's not just a disco diva, she's better than that-- she's got stone cold soul groove! I can dance! I can dance!

And there's more. Sonique found the time for no less than twelve dance-required tracks-- that 51 minutes of high energy and soul-tinged godness! I would like to take this space to thank her. Thank you, Sonique. You gave my life meaning when I thought all was lost. You picked up Cher's gauntlet and carried it with pride. You're not afraid to take well-worn dance-beats and make them all your own. You're a proud woman with love in her soul and a smile on her face, and for that I thank you! Thank You! Thank you! Sob!

-James P. Wisdom