Upon reading The End of the Ring Wars on the spine of the new Appleseed Cast disc, I immediately thought of the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy. However, aside from the vague Hobbit-like visage of the child on the cover, there were no other obvious Tolkienisms on this record. Please humor me as I extend this metaphor to its extremes.

If the indie music scene is J.R.R. Tolkien's Middle- Earth, with each race (dwarf, human, elf, troll, etc.) representing the various sub-genres of indie- rock, emo-core would most definitely be Hobbit. Hobbits are an amiable, peaceful race with furry feet. Emo is inoffensive, melodic rock with shaggy bowlcuts and sideburns. As Gandolf the Wizard explains, Hobbits once had an adventurous and nomadic past, but eventually settled down into tunnels, smoked pipes and got lazy and fat. As Brent the Critic explains, emo kids once offered a refreshing, energetic take on loud melodic rock, bleeding through their fingers and larynx, spiced with quiet, plaintive moments, but eventually settled down into clichés and patterns and cannibalized the genre.

Following the breadcrumb trail of Sunny Day Real Estate and Mineral, Appleseed Cast instinctively churn out what they should play instead of what they could play. The vocals stress "feelings" (e.g. sad, lonely, mournful, sorrowful, etc.) over comprehensibility. The monotone uni- dimensionality becomes robotic. Don't these kids ever get silly? These boys produce more unleavened, flavorless, mass- produced product than the fine folks at Maneschewitz. The only distinguishing characteristic that Appleseed Cast can claim as their own is the ubiquitous "farty" bass tone.

"Stars" floats above this batch on a cloud of originality thanks to tidal feedback and smooth sax. The sax pops back up in the finale, a bit more gimmicky, and clashes like Kenny G. over the Smashing Pumpkins. But after the final cymbal crash, the music leaves my brain, immediately washed clean by the more interesting ambient sounds of the air- conditioner.

-Brent DiCrescenzo