XBXRX
Gop Ist Minee
[5 Rue Christine/Kill Rock Stars]
Rating: 2.6
MATAOW DOWBEE! MATOW DOWBEE SAY HEY! PEEESE GOH DONBEE THE SAY! AYCASTOBEE
SAY! KEESTAY FODOO KAYDEBAY HEYDAY! MAYABALA BUHDOH FAYA SAHEY WAHAY!
AAAAHH!! KAYSTUBA FODO SEHDEMA HEYEY! GOGOGO! THAY FO! NO! THAY FO STAO!
TAYFAYHO! KAMAKEYO LEYMO SEEAOW! YUKUDA MEEOW LAAAA KAISUU MEEOWL AAAAAA!!
Well, will you look at that?! No, I'm not taking a class on primitive
languages. In fact, it's doubtful that a language like that even exists.
But that's what you get when you turn on Gop Ist Minee, the stateside
debut from XBXRX. Apparently, it's supposed to be English. I think
I even heard an English word somewhere on this record. Doesn't matter,
though, because nearly every word is screeched and screamed in only the
most annoying and high-pitched of fashions. For instance: remember that
scene in Ace Ventura where he's trying to get through the head-banging
club? Yeah. Well, imagine that on a gallon of helium and you've already
paid for half of this album.
Of course, there's another half: the music. Gop Ist Minee opens with
its best track-- a 25 second-long clip of a sped-up Casio keyboard demo. I
know what you're thinking: "That's the best track? Why, it could only get
worse from there!" Only too true, my friend. Only too true. Clichéd guitar
lines from the math/thrash department breeze by as eleven more "songs" speed
by in a mere 20 minutes. Frankly, I'd be hard pressed to distinguish one track
from another, and I'm betting you would be, too. To fill things out, XBXRX
have also included a limited assortment of electronic bweeEEows and
swwsssshhhs here and there. (Only onomatopoeias of the most imbecilic order
will do them justice.)
So facts is facts, and after these facts, I just can't see why you'd want to
buy XBXRX. Of course, if you're a fan of annoying speed-thrash electronic
garage-punk (with emphasis on "annoying"), then I suppose you could give it
a shot. For the rest of you, don't. I mean it.
-Spencer Owen