Some music just has nothing to do with art. Obviously, the realm of music is generally classified as one of the "arts," and some music strives to be art and succeeds, for better or worse. But there's also the music that wouldn't touch art with a ten-foot pole, and wouldn't want to, either. Of course, with the help of the right marketing and some glossy production, this is by and large the type of music that sells millions of records. You probably won't ever find Godspeed You Black Emperor! gracing the multi-platinum club with their presence.

It's hard to gauge how Puffy AmiYumi will fare in the States, but on their faraway home island of Japan, they hit N*Sync numbers long ago. Since 1996, they've had over seven hit singles and sold 14 million records total. Not too shabby. And upon listening to their fifth LP and first U.S.-released effort, Spike, it isn't too hard to imagine why they're so popular. There's not a single second of art to be found.

So, they're not very talented. The two girls that make up Puffy AmiYumi, Ami Onuki and Yumi Yoshimura, can carry a tune all right, but they aren't excellent singers. They're rather cute, though; that counts for something, right? I can't vouch for their lyrical ability, though, since all their lyrics are written and sung in Japanese. But if they were interpreted, they'd probably come out rather interestingly. Proof lies in one of the song titles, which translates as "This is the Song of Sweet Sweet Season When Cherry Garcia Blossoms Bloom." Don Cab, meet your Flower Children counterparts. (No, not really.)

Musically, Puffy AmiYumi draw directly from the fakebooks of Brian Wilson, the Monkees, and sometimes even Barry White or Brian Setzer. From the first of Spike's 15 new tracks, it shortly reveals itself as a '60s- and '70s-influenced J-pop explosion, featuring such potential hits as the swing sensation "Boogie Woogie No. 5," the groovy disco smash "Cosmic Wonder," and the driving garage-pop of "Destruction Pancake!" These two dynamic pop quasars will rock your world!

I apologize if I sound like a press release. It's almost too easy to get caught up in the pre-marketed enthusiasm that Puffy AmiYumi simply exude-- the kind of mania reserved for adolescent girls swooning over Aaron Carter. Still, not many of their songs are truly worth distinguishing. Even the four tracks co-written and produced by the "Godfather of Puffy," Jellyfish founding member Andy Sturmer, fail to leave an impression.

Spike's individual elements are perhaps catchy and enjoyable, like the central melody and rising organ in the verses of "Boogie Woogie No. 5," and the hyper guitar riff in "Puffy's Rule." Or perhaps they're amusing and a bit annoying, like a tone-deaf background vocalist attempting a Beach Boys-esque harmony on "Sui Sui." And sometimes Ami and Yumi can't quite hit the high notes, like in the chorus of "Shut Your Mouth, Honey." But it's fairly safe to say that if you like one of the songs, you'll like most, if not all of the rest.

So with this middle-ground rating, I leave it up to you, reader. If you think you'll enjoy Japanese girls chirping over melodic radio-tailored pop with sleek production, go for it. If you're always huddled in the corner with your Kranky catalog despising everything about the radio, or perhaps you, like me, "just don't get" Pizzicato Five, avoid this at all costs. For everyone else, it should just cancel itself out.

-Spencer Owen