One of these days, someone's going to call Bob Pollard's bluff. The guy has gotten away with musical murder for too long. Everywhere you turn, the response is the same: "Oh, the new GBV is great!" they say. "I like the new production-- it sounds biggish! You have to go out and get it! See, he can write longer songs." No, he can't. Pollard can't finish a thought. The guy has enigmatic lyrics and good hooks. But what's a hook without a ladder? It's just a hook! No fire truck. The house burns down.

The validity of Guided by Voices can be debated for hours or seconds. Some say "pop genius." I argue "lazy." A catchy hook spontaneously pops in a songwriter's head while bent over a guitar on a couch. Incorporating that hook into a complete song is another level entirely-- it's like comparing living in Dayton to living in Manhattan. If Pollard is a genius for what he does, then They Might Be Giants were uber- geniuses for the scatterbrain "Fingertips" on Apollo 18. And that was throwaway satire.

Anyway, you may have guessed that I never get very far in this line of arguing with Guided By Voices fans. They can be somewhat defensive with Pollard's debatable skills. Finally, I have the proof I need! This Minders album is great! They can write longer songs! I want every one of you to go out and get it, listen to it, and then tell me that this is not better than Mag Earwig and Do the Collapse. These kids write tunes that you can hum throughout your workday routine--the kind you think will grace an album once, not song after song. And they actually write complete songs! They take a great hook and let it germinate, filling the album with giant flowers of songs. The kind of songs that make critics cry sappy metaphors against better judgement.

Cul-de-Sacs and Dead Ends is a collection of four EPs that the Minders have released over the last three years, and three new songs. The band is based out of Portland and seem to swing in the same circles as... man! I can't write any more of this didactic drivel! These songs are just too great! Perfect pop. So upbeat! Passion surpresses any intellectual discussions. I want to go out in the rain with the Minders in my headphones! And it isn't even raining outside.

If I knew '60s English pop better-- if I were as old as Bob Pollard-- I could draw a proper pedigree. I know that they sound a bit like the Kinks. I don't want to do that to them, though. I want to embrace them as moderne saviours of pop. I want them for my generation. From the rhythmic knee slaps on "Almost Arms" to the perfectly placed bah- bah- bahs (Stereolab, take note) on "Better Things," everything seems to inexplicably work here.

"Oh, the new Minders is great! I like the new production-- it sounds '60s-ish. You have to go out and get it!" Long live happiness and unpretentious joy. By the way, is Bob still teaching?

-Chip Chanko