Say, just what purpose do these ubiquitous "best of" compilations serve in our society, anyway? Although we all own or, at least, have owned these generalized made-for-the-masses abominations, let's face it: with a few exceptions, of course, these "best of" albums basically cater to rich, lazy yuppies who have a tough time thinking for themselves, and own like maybe 13 CDs. These executive types need record companies to tell them which of the artist's songs are stamped with mainstream society's all-important approval. While ignorant rich people do enjoy music to a limited extent, the infinite pleasures of Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits or Wings' Greatest could never compare to playing a semi-competitive round of golf with Stan and Larry from the office.

Taking full advantage of the little corporate downtime he or she is allowed, The Yuppie likes to purchase a number of these "greatest hits" albums-- mostly to have them around for those informal office parties and the occasional in-house cocktail soiree. They won't want to offend guests with anything too obscure and challenging. With these compilations, Americanized instant gratification and optimum listener-friendly efficiency are the order of the day.

The thing is, you can get slightly more than this More Than This collection has to offer-- that is, if you can still find a copy of 1986's Ferry/Roxy Music collection entitled Street Life: 20 Greatest Hits. Even still, Virgin's idea of what constitutes Ferry's "best" isn't that different. "Pyjamarama," "Over You," and the excellent cover of Wilson Pickett's "In the Midnight Hour" are sadly absent from this new Virgin compilation. Included here, though, is the smartly-arranged "I'm in the Mood for Love" off Ferry's recent As Time Goes By, and "I Put a Spell on You," the Screamin' Jay Hawkins song-- and probably not the best cover Ferry's ever done. The highlight of the "Bright Lights, Big City" soundtrack, the dance-provoking "Kiss and Tell," is included as well.

And yes, let's not forget the endurance of those well-known and accessible songs from the early Roxy Music glitter-glam period: "Virginia Plain," their cover of Dylan's "A Hard Rain's A Gonna Fall" and the post-Eno "Street Life." Then, we jump-cut to Ferry's sleaze-disco lounge-lizard phase-- the song most embodying that period being "Love is the Drug." And finally, it's on to the ridiculously infectious melodies and lovey-dovey new wave dance-pop of "Slave to Love," "Angel Eyes," and "Dance Away." Pray tell, Sir Knight errant Dick Branson, but I fear thou hast allowed that fairest Roxy Music song of them all, "Editions of You," to be excluded from this collection. And could there be nothing from 1974's phenomenal Country Life worthy of inclusion here? A shameth, really.

Anyway, here are all the Bryan Ferry/Roxy Music songs Virgin Records deems fit for buttoned-down thirty-something professionals trying desperately to hang on to some shred of cutting edge hipness. A little Amazon.com-like market research may show that the 9-to-5 functionaries who buy this "best of" may also own the greatest hits of Booker T. and the MG's, the "Pulp Fiction" soundtrack, "The Best of Elvis Costello," and Sergio Mendes. And just maybe, in the case of rather adventurous yuppies, even a Jonathan Richman or Lou Reed greatest hits album is a possibility nowadays-- and the latter only because it probably has "Sweet Jane" on it.

So there you have it. I'll waste no more of your time. I know it's been a tough week sweating bullets at that Internet day-trading job, so put on your leisure suit, grab that vodka martini, queue up the best of Bryan Ferry and Roxy Music, and dance, bitch, dance!

-Michael Sandlin