Martin Atkins should be ashamed. Invisible Records' head-honcho made a name for himself as a (pop-)industrial force to be reckoned with as the mastermind, producer and percussionist of the early-'90s concept collective Pigface. The man who once worked with bands like Public Image Ltd and Ministry now brings us the latest in his label's series of remix records, the dreadful Dr. Speedlove Presents, Volume 2. Essentially, the record is an astonishing exercise in the notion of decline.

Obviously, remix records are rarely worth the time it takes to read the tracklist. However, what remix albums lack in substance and overall importance can be compensated with an overarching theme or some semblance of cohesiveness. There's barely a snip of a thread that runs through Dr. Speedlove; loud and dissonant effects grace virtually every track on this genre-leaping compilation. It's not enough, though, to hold this messy, puppy-pillaged-shoe-closet of a record together.

Lack of coherence aside, the individual tracks are just as slipshod. Atkins' remixes, in particular, amazingly sound simultaneously amateurish and washed-up. The first, "Heavy Scene," is a revamp of Meg Lee Chin's "Heavy Scene." Essentially, Chin whines like a riot grrl-reject, and Atkins' heavy beats and static bass transform the song into Digital Hardcore-lite fare. Chin's original vocals are kept intact, much to the detriment of the recording. Though it's tempting to resent remixes that totally cut up the source material, perhaps a hacking of this sort would have done the abysmal original well.

Atkins is also on board for the remix of Chemlab frontman Jared Louche's cover of Air's "Sexy Boy." Guitar attempts to mimic the French Band's bottom-heavy Moogs, and the chorus refrain is shamelessly duplicated verbatim. Naturally, insipid, English verses have been added, as has an early-'90s not-quite-hip-hop beat that redden even the faces of Deep Forest.

Much of the other material similarly attempts for a hard-edged, progressive electronic sound, with similarly weak results. Drugbeat's jarringly off-kilter "My Sacred," retreated by the hallowed Haloblack, plays like a bad Tricky experiment gone worse. Alec Empire adds spastic beats to Mad Capsule Markets' "Crash Pow," treading over the same DHC ground we've come to expect.

Dr. Speedlove, Volume 2 does, though, have a few exceptions to the general rule of paltriness. Coldcut are as fun and cut-n-paste as ever on OSO Finsengi's "Luxor." They juggle high-hat breaks at mid-tempo, then halfway through, turn the tempo up to "mach" and splendidly transform the track into raw jungle. "Do It" by A1 People vs. Metamatics is the high-end cousin of Newcleus' "Jam on It," and a fine bit of electro fun on an album that's decidedly unconcerned with having a good time.

When a record is so consistently awful, it's hard not to attempt to find some sort of kitsch value. In this respect, "Psycho Bitch Sister" by Lady Galore (remixed by My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult's Buzz McCoy) provides. The song reaches heights of unadulterated, Showgirls-esque campiness that's all too rare in contemporary pop. The inclusion of a lyrical revelation like, "She's a self-serving, psycho, evil bitch of a bitch," is bound to entertain, if only for a second. Certainly, we'd be laughing at it, not with it. But at least we'd be laughing.

I'm actually pretty curious as to whom exactly Dr. Speedlove is. Martin Atkins? Bastard son of Dr. Feelgood? Bastard son of a hundred maniacs? Regrettably, we're never told. Judging by the image in the liners, though, he's some sort of twisted plastic surgeon with a chip on his shoulder. Basically, what the record suggests is that a proctologist could do better.

-Richard M. Juzwiak