Pitchfork Books For Teens is proud to present:
Choose Your Own Damn Adventure Book #62:
A Million Miles Away
by Brent DiCrescenzo

Page 2

You, a renegade forest ranger, walk into a log cabin. The place is trashed. Someone has torn it apart looking for something... or someone! A computer sits on top of a heavy, wooden desk. The blue glow from the screen- saver casts shifting patterns onto the wall. You step over the spilled contents of drawers, waste- bins, and shelves and nudge the Macintosh mouse. The screen jumps to life. A window is open to the Pitchfork Internet Magazine website. There is a review of an album called The Emo Diaries.

If you have no idea as to what "emo-core" music could be and just thought Emo was the first name of a weird, skinny stand- up comic, go to page 3.

If you own albums by Sunny Day Real Estate and the Promise Ring, wear tight t-shirts and chain wallets, think about guys/ girls a lot, and swear allegiance to the emo flag, go to Page 5.

Page 3

A small post- it note is stuck on the side of the monitor. It reads:

"Emo-core is a post- punk/ post- hardcore movement whose name is drawn from the word 'emotional.'" This term fits both lyrically and sonically. Song themes focus on relationships (or lack thereof), loss, loneliness, crushes, feelings, etc. The music tries to be loud and pretty at the same time, never sacrificing melody for force. Typically there are plenty of loud/ quiet dynamics, as songs will start plaintive and melodic and build to a crashing crescendo. For lack of a better reference point, the most emo radio hit of 1997 was the Foo Fighters' "Everlong," with its sweet, breathy vocals and staccato guitars.

Go to Page 5.

Page 5

You begin to read the record review. The critic claims:

"Deep Elm Records offers up a lukewarm second helping of emo. A third- generation chronicle that provides adequate documentation of the genre, but fails to invigorate or advance the scene. Most bands utilize an emo- by- numbers strategy through forgettable songs. Aside from a few standouts, the compilation might have been called "The Opening Band Chronicles," as with each selection, one can directly trace a line to the influence. Newcomers to the genre should look elsewhere for an introduction-- the first chapter in the Emo Diaries series, perhaps.

Do you...

Put your ax through the screen and rush out to purchase the CD?

Try to figure out just what you're doing, standing in this trashed cabin?

-Brent DiCrescenzo