Thank you for purchasing "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Recording a Generic Psychedelic Pop Album." In the little plastic pouch at the back of this book, you will find the companion CD, the Aislers Set's Terrible Things Happen. As you read this point-by-point guide to recording inoffensive psych-pop, please follow along with the CD.

1. It is important that your lyrics reflect a certain degree of melancholy. Nobody, especially the kind of people who buy psych-pop albums, wants to hear about how wonderful your sex life is. Instead, go for despondent, lovelorn lyrics. Examples on the companion CD include "I've Been Mistreated," and "Why Baby." Any combination of self-deprecation, pleading, and/or longing is an absolute must.

2. When delivering these sorrowful lyrics, be certain your voice matches your lyrics. Confidence is a big no-no. Never let your voice fully reach the forefront of the mix, and always make sure that the sounds coming out of your mouth are at least 30% breath. This is especially important for female singers. Notice how the vocalist on your companion CD, Amy Linton, sounds as if she's got a small microphone embedded directly in her throat, picking up every breathy nuance. There's the sound you're looking for!

3. What makes pop music psychedelic? Reverb, for one thing. Never forget that reverb is your friend. Never let any guitar go without it, and never, ever let any vocal track go without it. It is also recommended that you apply reverb to anything else you can get your hands on-– drums, tambourines, bass, and especially piano. If you can only play a few triads, it doesn't matter-– 'verb the hell out of them, and they'll sound an awful lot better.

4. Harmony is another key element in making a psych-pop record. What's that? You can't find someone to harmonize with? No problem! Thanks to modern multi-tracking technology, you can seamlessly harmonize with yourself! For added effect, sing slightly out of tune with your lead vocals, or have one track stop just before another one. You will find this technique implemented throughout your companion CD.

5. Drummers are okay, but you don't want one that's gonna drown out all of your other reverb-laden instruments. Make sure that your drummer doesn't go too crazy. Notice how the drummer on your companion CD utilizes a gentle mid-tempo groove, with some soft ride cymbal and the occasional fill on the snare? Nothing too complicated!

6. Finally, the most important thing to remember when making a psych-pop album is not to offend the senses. Major chords are good. Minor chords are okay. You can invert them, and you can arpeggiate them, but for God's sakes, don't push it! Diminished minor-7 chords? Forget it! Remember: this may be psychedelic pop, but the emphasis is still on the pop. If you play through your companion CD, you'll find that the music never challenges you. It's just very, very pretty.

We hope you've enjoyed this simple guide to making psychedelic pop music, endorsed by John Ratzenberger. Look forward to our next guide, "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Recording a Cloying Twee-Pop Album," with a CD anthology of all the music ever recorded by Wolfie, Busytoby and Mathlete.

-Matt LeMay