"Imagine a roller coaster ride filled with emotional tension, humor, dips, stops and goes that leave you reeling for more." --The Pin-Ups press kit

Well, I'm imagining it, but these guys have never been on it, let alone taken anyone (other than Good-Ink Records) for anything you could call a ride. This record is simply terrible-- from the hackneyed drunken photographs to the generally amateurish presentation of things, this gaggle of has-beens should stick to their day jobs, or get some.

Rising from the ashes of the less revolting but equally useless Green Apple Quick Step, the Pin-Ups represent the absolute bottom of music's barrel-- they're burned-out studio hags so entrenched in rockist dogma that they lose all frame of reference. This deluded scrapbook of genre-spanning clichés is to be avoided at all costs. You couldn't even use this for a coaster-- you'd have to justify tainting your friend's drink.

As far as the music, just head to the worst bar in town, or the salad bar at the Sheraton, and check out whoever's playing. If they've got a keyboardist, you're basically listening to this record. And whoever mastered Backseat Memoirs should be clocked in the back of the head. It was either recorded on a three year-old reel they found in the back of the studio or everyone involved is deaf; they gated this thing so strictly, it cuts out all over the place. I feel like I'm listening to a tape I found in the middle of the street. I don't want to cross the line to ageism, but there are bands older than these fools still making great music. Lame is lame, no matter how young or old you are.

-Chris Ott