"O, I sail the mighty seas in search o' dry land! I been out to waters me whole life, seein' nary a shore, 'cept maybe once a year for stockin' me craft with supplies, or to admire the old world vessels like me peerless Marlan Rosa. She's a beautiful sight, there. Lookit 'er sailin' proud, mast soarin' like a gull, carryin' on across the waters, bosom heavin' and bobbin' like an English barmaid!

"She was built 'fore the turn o' the 21st century by an Aussie carpenter, Mick Turner. Now there was a brawny fella! Not a brute ye wanted ta cross, not Mick. Travelled with the Dirty Three, playin' jigs an' such there for the landlubbers. Done some good, solid work with 'em, too-- Ocean Songs in particular can ease the soul through even the roughest storms. But it's Mick's ships that bring me to me knees. His first stirdy vessel, Tren Phantasma, built in 1997, was a mean freighter. The Tren was huge and powerful, but with such a soft heart. Aye, me memories o' that one be fond, matey. How I envied that courageous ship! I'd have sacrificed even me best mate for a single opportunity to man the helm. But some other bastard's got 'er. An' puttin' 'er to good use, I hope.

"But I done me barterin' with a lass in Old Chicago-- a kind missus at Drag City Vessels-- and netted me this Marlan Rosa. Now here's a noble craft! She's 41 minutes long from tip to tip, constructed from the wood of aged guitars and violins, an' carved in what arty bastards might call a 'neo-classical' vein. When she sails, she cuts through these murky sea depths like a Ginsu. The ocean breeze lifts her, and guides her to uncharted regions. And always sailing smooth!"

"But at sea, a man becomes restless-- longs for companionship. Ye can be on the waters for ages, it seems, an' sometimes me craft just ain't enough. O, she's always good company, o' course, but... there be times when ye wish she'd get angry with the sea-- rise up an' get a little of the ol' St. Elmo's Fire in 'er. Never does, though... just sails calmly like the gentle lady she be. Aye, this vessel is me first love. And even when that Calavera wind is blowin', and that blasted Borracho Sol III is shinin' down like a spot o' fire in yer chest, ye feel comfort knowin' she'll make it through unharmed. That's the glory of the Marlan Rosa."

-Ryan Schreiber