From the Arnprior Globe-Tribune:

AMBIENT RECORD LINKED TO TEENAGE VIOLENCE, GENERAL HORNINESS

ARNPRIOR, December 13, 1998 -- Arnprior police confiscated a controversial ambient record from the homes of neighborhood teenagers after local high school students set fire to several classrooms and began commiting sexual acts in the hallways.

"We tried to figure out why these normal kids would do something like this," said Arnprior Police Staff Sgt. Mike Logan. "The link between the children involved appears to be a record by James Plotkin and Mark Spybey called A Peripheral Blur. All the kids involved in this debauchery had a copy of the record."

Residents of this mostly religious community are shocked and angered by recent developments which left the local school closed while local priests cleansed the area.

"I came home from work a couple of weeks ago and Bobbi-Sue was crying and crying," said local hog shaver Peter Andersen of his cousin-wife. "She said she came home and found our son with this record turned up really loud and he was... playing with himself all over the place. It was awful. I had to wipe up everything with my meat napkin. I wish he'd listen to more god-rock."

Police are not disclosing what caused the series of incidents which lead to the eruption, which took place last week. Psychological experts say that the record could contain hidden brainwave messages that reverse the moral capacity of the teenage mind.

"I've listened to the record and I must say it's not average music," said Dr. Herman Stanowsky of Arnprior's Anderson Community College. "This kind of music demands a very close, detailed listening because there are lots of different things going on. So you can't just put this on and wash the dishes. When you're engaged in a singular, detailed activity, you are very susceptable to influence."

Dr. Stanowsky says the sounds in A Peripheral Blur, which were made using guitars, toy sounds and vocals run through a variety of blurry effects, may have the effect of altering normal brain patterns. "These kids were completely zoned out when we found them," said Sgt. Logan.

Local researchers say they are analysing the record, especially the first tracks "Jute Wheel" and "Vord Lae" as possible "heavy triggers" of abnormal activity. Dr. Stanowsky says these two pieces, in particular, may have been intense enough to set off the children.

"These records are very dangerous because people don't suspect them," he added. "They think, 'Oh, it's just another background music record, not heavy metal.' But some of these records, especially the well- crafted ones like these can be enough to make you completely insane."

-Samir Khan

"Jute Wheel"

[MPEG High Quality]