SUNDAY NIGHT:

And I was bored. It seems terribly ungrateful to admit it but it’s the truth. The man in the kilt and other friends of friends of friends of Academy members—-my impromptu Oscar buddies--were far more interested in taking pictures of each other in the Shrine than they were in actual Oscar proceedings. And those commercial breaks seemed rather daunting when you knew that leaving your seat could mean potentially getting shut out until the next commercial break.

I consciously decided to improve my attitude for the Governor’s Ball, held a mere few feet from the actual ceremony. (So intent was I on gaining entry, I actually watched the Best Picture Award from the 2nd floor reception area.) Though I was literally the first person let inside, the move backfired when a security guard confiscated my tape recorder and I was left to watch the other (later arriving) reporters record their interviews while I was left with a pen and paper. (If there’s anything more daunting than interviewing celebrities after the Academy Awards, it’s having them watch you try to write down everything they say.)

My first encounter was with Best Actress nominee Juliette Binoche, who seemed to be wearing more pearls than dress. Admittedly, I stumbled over my words-—it’s hard not to when the first celeb you can talk to has just lost—-but nothing could have prepared me for her attitude. “Are you really a reporter?” she asked. I assured her that I was and asked her how she mentally prepares for an event like the Oscars. “I do the Alexander Technique,” she mumbled. The low talking combined with Binoche's French accent must have left me with a befuddled look, because she added before swishing away, “If you don’t know what it is, buy a dictionary and look it up.” Nice start.

Since I was Webster’s-less at the moment, I was grateful that Winona Ryder was far kinder, enthusiastically emoting about her admiration for Bjork. “They told me she requested me [as her presenter],” the now blond ringleted actress confessed. “I’d be stoked if that were true.” Adding that she never would have attended if it weren’t for her presenter role, Ryder also expressed disappointment over the fact that she wasn’t able to say more about her love for Before Night Falls.

The most foot traffic definitely surrounded the Traffic table, where Stephen Soderbergh and Benicio Del Toro dined with producer Laura Bickford and other assorted well-wishers. Eating became secondary, as guests like Steven Spielberg and Julia Roberts came bearing hugs. Nearby, Mike Myers and wife Robin gushed about their thrill when Cameron Crowe won and Ben Stiller and wife Christine Taylor joked about the event being like a “celeb-infested wedding.”

Though she had lost to dark horse Marcia Gay Harden, Kate Hudson declared the day “one of the best Sunday’s of my life.” Running around with new hubby Chris Robinson, the Stella McCartney garbed gal told me that she “hadn’t expected anything of the night,” not seeming the slightest bit disappointed. Perhaps it was the winner attitude but you couldn’t help but notice that everyone was buzzing about her as if she had in fact received a little gold man. (I overheard a waiter instructing another, “Cameron Crowe is Budweiser. Kate Hudson is Vodka.”) Goldie Hawn later told me, “Of course I would have loved it if she’d won but she’s got a long career ahead of her.”

Hilary Swank discussed her impromptu amends for last year’s forgetfulness as the always attentive Chad Lowe stood by, telling me that he thought Julia’s plea to the “timer guy” to lay off was inspired by Hilary’s speech. Hilary, on nervousness: “Of course I get nervous. If you don’t get nervous, you’re dead.” Chad: “I’m nervous and I don’t even have to do anything.” Hillary: “See how supportive he is?” (Cute couple quotient rivaled Kate and Chris as well as Julia and Benjamin—who swept by me as her bodyguard kept me at bay.)

Later, at the Elton John/In Style party held at Moomba—-catty corner from Vanity Fair’s annual Morton’s bash—-guests like Sting, Trudie Styler, Sigourney Weaver, Puff Daddy and Tom Hanks crowded into a downstairs VIP area. Sigourney offered up how much she liked it when Arthur C. Clarke spoke from Sri Lanka and Trudie declared how “humiliating” it must have been for Ridley Scott that his film and actor won but that he “didn’t have a presence on stage.” Moments later, Trudie greeted the always elegant Dame Judi Dench and posed for a picture with her. “For God’s sake, Sting, get over here!” she called good-naturedly. (In case you’re wondering, he obeyed.)

I missed the duet that Elton John had performed with this year’s Sarah McLaughlen, Nellie Furtado, but guests like Allison Janney, LL Cool J and Tom Sizemore filled me in a bit. After saying Benicio’s name six times into my tape recorder, Sizemore explained that he had been a friend of the Oscar winner for 14 years. “If you don’t cheer for your friends, you’re a chump,” he declared. “There’s a line in a Bruce Springsteen song: ‘A man who turns his back on his friends is no man at all.’” (When he was finished quoting the Boss, Sizemore explained that he’d also been rooting for his Black Hawk Down director Ridley Scott.)

Once I made it out of there and began the trek to my car, a random drunk man walked up beside me. “I’m trying to get into the DreamWorks party at Dominick’s,” he declared of the event that the studio had spontaneously decided to throw after Gladiator won the Best Picture award. “Can you help me? I can’t find my limo or my friends.” Unfortunately for the lost soul, the answer was no. No more Oscar parties for me.

‘Till next year, of course.