Familiar to Millions. Whoa, boys, don't toot your own horn! Though that title might seem another chest bruise in a long line of drunken braggadocio, it's really not as mighty as Oasis clearly thinks. Familiar fails to convince us of Oasis' self-perceived social impact. Yackov Smirnov, Land-O-Lakes butter, Pol Pot, and kidney disease are also familiar to millions. But loved, cherished, memorized, idolized, respected, wanted, or worshiped by millions? Not anymore, if ever.

As their new double live CD will attest, at least 70,000 blokes in Wembley Arena know every word (to the choruses) of "Wonderwall," "Supersonic," and "Live Forever"-- even more so than a completely tanked Liam Gallagher. And when the audience drowns out the refrains in "Don't Look Back in Anger," it'll send chills up the spines of... Noel and Liam.

The ambient stadium noise sounds like a Carling Premier Cup match, where chants of "Posh Spice takes it up the ass" are belted to the tune of "Go West" in the direction of David Beckham. The cries of "O-A-Sis" between mid-'90s megahits sound athletic-- so unified they could be the canned crowd noise in EA Sports' "FIFA 2001." And Oasis would certainly seem to be satisfied with such. Although, if it's possible to capture the sound of thousands heading for the lager tents and loo, listen closely during "Gas Panic," "Stand By Me," and "Who Feels Love?"

Oasis morphed into a specialized British past time two albums ago. Like cricket. At this point in their career, Familiar to Millions seems like a pathos litmus with the public. With new band members Gem and Andy installed, this release tests the band's legacy and relevance, neither of which is looking that hot. What Gem and Andy Bell bring to the table is yet to be seen, but from this recording, it can only be found that Gem sounds a little more proficient (read: wanky) on the solos than Paul "Bonehead" Arthurs.

On Standing on the Shoulder of Giants, Noel Gallagher came closer to his goal of approximating the Beatles' sound on "Go Let It Out" and "Who Feels Love" because he picked up a mellotron and tablas. But every added layer and solo brings Oasis closer to Sweet and Sugarloaf than Lennon and McCartney. The Gallaghers' hands are too full of cock and Marshall stack fuzz to handle anything near "Beatles-esque." And it's proven with the terrible tacked on cover of "Helter Skelter," a chunky, heavy Paul song which should fit easily into the Oasis mold, but instead stomps over songwriting with big, stupid Shaq-sized feet.

The mix here is guitars to 11, everything else to 6, as the slurring, inebriated Liam is buried under mountains of riffs for better and worse. Between-song banter comes chockablock with "Fookin." Liam warms the Wembley crowd, saying, "Shithole, they should tear the fookin' shit down." He adds, "Hello, Manchester," to a response of boos, and chuckles. What band keeps boos on their own live album? An arrogant band with contempt for their remaining fans.

Before "Supersonic," Liam goads the crowd into chanting his name. Fuck off. This Wembley gig was not a monument. Oasis are simply too lazy to compile a thought-out compilation. Most likely, Noel, in his eternal reach for Cleveland, yearned for an At Leeds or At Budokan. But the catch is, you have to capture your band at their height. Here, Oasis is hopping on tip-toes, frantically waving their up-stretched arms.

Familiar to Millions reheats leftovers of better songs written six years ago and force-feeds them as reminders that Oasis could once write an uplifting song. As for those looking for a compact, two-disc set of Oasis' best, it's called What's the Story Morning Glory? and Definitely Maybe-- available for the low price of $8 at your local used record shop.

-Brent DiCrescenzo