Disclaimers:
Xena: Warrior Princess and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys belong to MCA/Universal.
Violence: Eh, not really.
Mad Lovin': Er, not described. But there's some subtext, hettex, and some parakeet interspecies mad lovin' going on. Beware!
Sailors Blush In My Presence: Yes, they do! Okay, I don't actually know any sailors. This one really isn't that bad. There are a few curse words here and there but nothing so bad you'll go, "Did she write that?"
It's a series: This is the fifth in the series. Wait, one ... two ... yeah number five. It starts out with School Sucks. Then we have School Bites, School Blows, and School B.S..
Spoilers: Sacrifice 1 and 2.
THE ESCAPE:
Callisto had never been so mad in all of her seventeen winters! She had been tricked. "Come on, Callisto, we're all going into the Jewel of the Nile" Hercules had said. Yeah, and that's why she was the only one stuck in here!
The Jewel of the Nile was an interesting school fair "amusement." It was a large maze that had no light except where there happened to be a skeleton. And even then, there was only a small puny candle mounted where its skull was. All of it was meant to scare, but she hated it! First a closet and now this!
All of them had gone into the maze. Gabrielle, Xena, Autolycus, Iolaus and Hercules. But when they left, Hercules had shut and locked the door behind them with a loud laugh. "Ah ha, Callisto! No cotton candy for you!" he hollered through the wall. She hated him.
Sovereign: Hey.
Callisto turned around and yelled her warcry, not expecting that anyone else was in The Jewel of the Nile with her. Finally done screaming, she opened her eyes and looked upon the dreamiest punk she had ever laid her eyes on!
Clad in leather, like her, he gave off an aura of bad. And...and...he had a goatee! There was nothing like a goatee!
Callisto: (pout) Who are you? You look a little like Hercules.
Sovereign: My name is Hercules, but all my friends call me Sovereign.
Callisto: Cool. Where are you from?
Sovereign: I'm from an alternate universe. I met Hercules the one time he dared to smoke some pot, and well, here I am, trapped in The Jewel of the Nile.
Callisto: This door opens and shuts all day. He just locked it now.
Sovereign: (shrug) Never thought of leaving.
Callisto: Well you will with me.
Sovereign: Okay. (pause) Why?
Callisto: Well isn't it obvious?
Sovereign: No.
Callisto: You're bad and I'm bad. We should be bad together.
Sovereign: Sounds good to me.
After a half an hour of searching, they finally found the door to outside in the pitch black maze.
Sovereign: What now?
Callisto: You'll stay in here unless you promise to be my boyfriend.
Sovereign: Okay.
Callisto: And you have to hate and love Xena as much as I do.
Sovereign: Okay.
Callisto: And you have to buy me a new kitten.
Sovereign: Okay.
Callisto, with one solid kick, knocked the door down.
Sovereign: We're free!
Callisto: It stinks out here.
Sovereign: Isn't me.
The Sovereign realized why