It's not everyday
that I get to talk with an action hero. Recently, I chilled with
the Bat Commander from the Aquabats, and by the churning sound of
crashing guitars in the background, I'm pretty sure other 'Bats
were lurking about.
The Aquabats cannot be described as your average band. Rather, the Bat Commander (let's call him B.C.) told a chilling tale of how the members were actually refugees from an obscure island, survivors of a devastating invasion. After fleeing for their lives, they arrived in Orange County, Calif., where the sunshine reigns and music rules the kingdom.
"The Aquabats are from a distant island far away in the sea, called Aquabania," B.C. explained. "We had to escape our island when it was taken over by a terrorist force from outer space. Then we came to this, the American continent, where we met up with a kindly professor who took us in and trained us to do the only thing we could do -- and that was act stupid on stage and survive. We pretty much started the band with the Professor here in beautiful Orange County. There are all kinds of places in Orange County for one to learn and adapt from, like Anaheim, Yorba Linda, Whittier -- actually, that's more L.A. County -- Huntington Beach, Stanton, Midway City, Garden Grove, Santa Ana, Orange. What a beautiful area we decided to land on."
With eight full-time members of the band, I took the litany
of cities as the current haven of the members. In addition to
B.C., the band also includes Crash McLarsen, CatBoy, Chainsaw
Karate, Doctor Rock, the Robot, Prince Adam and the Mysterious
Kyu. Friends of the band include the Professor and the PigBat.
Interesting set of names? Oh, yeah! But the Web site eNoise:
The Aquabats offers up the members' real names -- none of
which I was able to confirm. Rumor has it that new
Blink382 drummer Travis Barker used to call Aquabania his
home. No wonder they are such an Enema of the State.
The band members deem themselves "action heroes" and clearly make a distinction between action heroes and those more commonly known superheroes.
"We've been deemed superheroes, but it seems that our superpowers are really not that great. So I've decided to change it to action heroes because superheroes usually always win, but action heroes just go into action," B.C. said. "When you're in a band with eight super action heroes, there's not a whole lot of economic strength there, but there is a lot of bonding and a lot of unity. That's where the true satisfaction comes from -- is that cheesy enough?"
The band thwarts evil dominions while playing on stage. Interspersed between the songs and action is "sharing time," where friends such as the Professor and the Magic Chicken might drop in. B.C. calls live performances a cross between "a kids television program with a Dead Kennedys concert."
"So we'll be playing a show, and a monster will come up on stage -- or a giant one-eyed red beast or, say, a whole squad of skeleton heads or something. It depends on the night or what area of the country we are in. It's kind of like a normal rock 'n' roll set, but we also have to fight off villains from time to time," B.C. explains. "There is a lot of violent thrashing around onstage while we are playing and, in the audience, kids flying off the stage and going crazy, but then we stop and tell a story about a band of midget pirates or a Martian girl, or the sand fleas will blindside us from the side.
"We played in Pittsburgh, in China Town, and an ax-wielding Buddha came out of a coffin, and that was kind of scary. I think it was a Buddhist monk. We didn't ask questions; we just had to get rid of the ax, and we had security seize him, give him to the proper authorities because, technically, we really have no authority to punish him onstage. We took him to jail."
So far, the most fiendish foe has proven to be the Floating Eye of Death -- hence the title of the band's latest album, The Aquabats Vs. the Floating Eye of Death. B.C. said that the Floating Eye of Death is a minion, or creation of the evil forces that that took over their island, Aquabania. Even still, the Eye can attack anyone.
"The Floating Eye of Death hangs over us all, if you know what I mean. You cannot actually kill Death because he's already dead. You just have to evade it. It's all about evasion with the Floating Eye of Death," B.C. said. "We're trying to find the proper way to send it back to hell, where it came from. Maybe we should play up in Antarctica or something."
